'SUPER MARIO BROS.' LOUD, BUT FILM'S JUST A BOMB.(LIFE & LEISURE)

Byline: LAWRENCE TOPPMAN - Knight-Ridder

Let's make a deal. I'll go on one of those centrifugal force rides, the kind where the bottom drops out and you're pinned against the frame of a whirling metal cage, for 97 minutes. You attend "Super Mario Bros." Then we'll see who has the blurriest vision and the loudest ringing in his ears.

Bombs explode, cars careen and crash, people leap from dimension to dimension in this blaring, glaring picture, based loosely on the famous video game. Kids might get a charge out of the mayhem. I got the vapors.

Directors Rocky Morton and Annabel Jankel got famous directing music videos and commercials, then created …